Playing favorites

Grand Sweep Daily Reading: Genesis 37, 38; Psalm 21


Genesis 37:3-4 (NIV)
3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. 4 When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.


23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe – the richly ornamented robe he was wearing – 24a and they threw him into the cistern.


Psalm 21:11 (NIV)
11 Though they plot evil against you and devise wicked schemes, they cannot succeed.


Good morning!


The Book of Genesis is filled with many examples of what can happen when parents show favoritism to one child over another. There is definitely a pecking order in the family of Israel (a/k/a Jacob). Israel’s women competed for their husband’s love. Child bearing was considered a gift of honor. If the dutiful wife bore a son, her place was esteemed within society. Likewise, if a wife was barren, her community shamed her to a life of disgrace. The firstborn son was a coveted position. Heir to inheritance and blessing, the oldest son was given privilege over the younger children. Playing favorites is risky business. Think about your family and what it was like growing up. Did your parents show favoritism toward you, or was their affections redirected to one of your brothers or sisters? What was it like to always be compared to someone else? Could you measure up to your parents’ great expectations?


Joseph must have been a really cute kid. I imagine he had the good looks of his beautiful mother, Rachel, and the sneaky savvy of his father, Israel. A young man of seventeen years, he possessed a flamboyant personality and a sense of self-worth that many teenage boys flaunt. In today’s age, when we encourage our children to strive for excellence and to be self-confident in all their endeavors, Joseph would have been a shoo-in to our culture. Joseph had ten older brothers, and one younger than himself. The scripture said that Joseph’s father loved him more, maybe because he was the first-born son of his precious Rachel. Maybe Israel saw Joseph’s potential and knew he had what it might take to be a great leader. Most likely, Israel loved Joseph because Joseph was much like himself when he was a child, and there was a bond that Joseph's brothers resented.


Can you hear what the boys may have been thinking and silently hoping for? If we can find a way to get rid that boy, maybe Father will turn his attention toward us. And don’t we deserve some of his affection? How hard did you have to work to get your parents’ approval? Were you more like Joseph, a child who could do no wrong, or were you more like a jealous sibling, feeling compelled to compete for love?


Joseph did little to smooth the gap between him and his brothers. In fact, it appeared that Joseph added fuel to the fire as he told his brothers of the dreams he had. There was an inner substance to Joseph’s psyche that would make all the difference in his time of betrayal. Some of those irritating characteristics became a source of survival in a time where Joseph was abandoned by the family he loved.


From a parent’s perspective, I know it is not always easy to promote a fair environment for our children to grow. Every child is a remarkable gift, with graces and abilities that are unique. We try to equip our children to reach their greatest potential; yet, siblings rarely possess the same skills sets or interests. When we value each child for the special gift they are, we raise the bar in avoiding the sibling rivalry that seems to play upon our individual family units.


Joseph’s brothers were not prepared for their father’s extreme and long-lasting grief over the loss of Joseph. Israel’s sadness over his son’s disappearance and presumed death was more than their family could bear. In life, we may not always feel cherished by our parents or our siblings. Yet, there is someone who loves us unconditionally. Birth order is of no consequence to Him. He values each child because we are His unique masterpiece, and our lives can reflect His glory on earth. Your Heavenly Father knows who you are. He loves you! He sees your heart and the potential He created within you to be the child He hopes you will become.


God plays favorites with all of his kin. If your family has left you feeling abandoned and unloved, look to your Father in heaven. His love is all you will ever need to experience. He cherishes you so much, that He gave up His only Son just to bring you home to Him.


You are valued. Your life is worth living. Our families are not perfect. We can truly love them, even when they’ve disappointed us, by looking at them through our Heavenly Father’s eyes. How will you respond? Can you love your family in spite of their actions? Will you forgive them for playing favorites?


Grace and peace,


Deb Spaulding
www.songofdeborah.com


Pray for: assurance! God loves you so very much. He created you with a plan in mind. Let Him be the source of all you need. Choose to let His love be the love of your life. We can strengthen our family ties when we choose to love each other unconditionally.


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© Copyright 2007, Deb Spaulding

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